Anthropology
by A Wolf's Nightmare
Summary: A malfunction starts to happen with the TARDIS and it changes everyone in Jasper. But do they want to change back?
1. Intro

Hey you made it! Good for you! This is the theme song for the show from this story until Season 9 Episode 20. If you didn't know, I count all my stories as episodes and this whole this is like a TV show. So here is the theme song from now to season 9. Enjoy!

Vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv

Goes from black into a little home. There is a window with blue and white curtains in the back with a wall that stretches from left to right. There is a television in the front of the window, just below the window's height. Two chairs are on the right and left of the TV with the arms of an old man and old woman in their respective places. The television is already turned on to the news. (The television has no sound.) A flash of lightning is seen from the window and the sound of thunder is heard. The camera zooms into the television that turns into a static screen. A warping sound is heard as it goes through and it ends up in the suburb of Mercy Falls.

The camera then lands and we see the population sign in front of the town. The sign has 'Population: Unknown' under it. We then go in. Each section will have the portion at end, (), that will be used for that whole section.

(We see the town from the front part with the sign in front of us as music starts to play.)

Mercy Falls is not what you call a normal town

(We see Wayne walk into town and look around. He has bags with him and smiles as he sees something.)

All the people here don't last a year, not even when the sun goes down

(We see Dr. Jack, Mr. Jones, Lilly, Kate, Humphrey, Claudette, Hutch, and Sebastian. Mr. Jones does a salute, Sebastian is holding a potion to his face, Humphrey and Kate are playing with Claudette, Dr. Jack stands proud as he as a bag slung over his back that's dripping blood, and Lilly is holding a mug with beer in it as she takes a drink from it.)

That is when the mayhem awakens and monsters crawl

(We see Wayne with Humphrey, Kate and Hutch and he is showing him his telephone box)

But if you want adventure, you know who to call

It is nothing that you ever saw

(We see Humphrey, Kate, and Hutch posing with their names next to their respected other, (Humphrey's name would on top of him and so on.))

We've got aliens, ghosts, Jersey Devils, and haunted halls

(Each word is said as a scene is done, a scene is anything before a comma and once the word is said, it goes to the next part.) (We then see Eros Horror pop out of the screen, then we see the Devil possessing Mr. Jones, we see the Jersey Devil look at the gang in pain, and finally we see Freddy Fazbear's pizzeria's halls with Freddy at the end of the hall slowly walking towards the camera.)

Demons, many songs, empty graves, caves, and deserted malls

(We see The Devil talking to the townspeople in the town hall, we then see many people singing songs, we then see Wayne dumping a body into an open grave, then we see everyone looking in awe at the God's Mouth that came up in Death Row Park, and finally, we see a deserted mall in Mercy Falls with people walking in it.)

Like there is anything else to do here at Mercy Falls

(A picture of everyone in the show is seen and then it changes to the title of the show with "Created By:" and "Developed By" on the bottom.


	2. Wake Up From this Horrible Dream

The TARDIS materialized in Jasper Park and Wayne got out of it. Wayne looked around and smelled the air. It was crisp and fair.

Humphrey, Kate, Hutch, Tony, and Eve came to see the furry alien. Wayne then greeted them.

"Hey, guys, what's up?"

"We wanted to know if we can see a movie in a distant planet. If you don't mind…" Tony said as he wanted to see the inside of his time machine.

"Oh, that's fine. My old darling here will take us…" He started to pat the machine. "Yep… she does everything and more and doesn't…ow!"

Wayne took away his paw as he felt it burn up. The TARDIS was glowing. And not the typical how wood glows in the morning, but the bad way.

"Wayne, what's happening to it now?" Kate asked fearfully.

"This think its settling… not used to being in the woods for this long."

Then suddenly there was a bolt of lightning coming for the machine. It hit the floor next to Humphrey. He back away.

"I think we should go… come on!" They then started to make a break for it. But the tree next to them got hit with a bolt and it started to fall. It barely missed them.

"What is going on?!" Hutch yelled out as the sound of the TARDIS rumbling drowned him out.

"It's a space fluctuation! The TARDIS does this in order to…" Before he could finish, Wayne was hit by a green bolt of lightning.

He fell to the ground. Everyone tried to help but they got hit and passed out. Pretty much everyone in the whole Jasper Park got hit by a green bolt.

It took a while to get to everyone but it made it. Suddenly the whole park was passed out and no one was awake.

The camera then zooms into the gang as they were the first ones hit. It zoomed into Humphrey as the screen faded to black. Nothing was there, yet everything was there.

Now we're in Humphrey's dreams. And his dreams are…. Well…. Babyish… he dreamt that he was in an ice cream parlor with Aaron and they were ordering.

" _Can I get a triple goobey sunrise please?"_ Humphrey asked. Aaron started to order too.

" _Can I get a kiddie meal please?"_

" _So Aaron… what new invention are you working on?"_

" _I didn't come here to talk about my life. I came to party!"_

" _*Chuckles* It's always a party with you…"_

" _Here's your kiddie meal sir…"_ The bartender said.

" _I was supposed to have a toy with this…."_ The bartender threw the plush doll at Aaron's head and he caught it.

" _Thanks… now listen Humphrey… you have to wake up."_

" _Wait, I am up…"_

" _Wake up! WAKE UP!"_


	3. Anthropology

Humphrey opened his eyes. His vision was blurred but he can make out the sky and the trees. He turned his head and saw a body next to him on his right.

He looked left and saw three bodies. He tried to get up but his head started to pound. He licked his lips and blinked a few times. He didn't know where he was.

"Oh… my head…." He managed to say. He then started to feel his body. He felt something…. Off…

He didn't feel his fur. He thought that that was normal to not feel your fur after an accident but what he saw was shocking. His vision went back to normal and he lifted up his…. Hand?

Humphrey then gasped as he sat up straight. He then looked at himself. He had hands… human hands and a body and two legs and… and… and… he was naked!

"What the hell…." He started as he covered his junk in shame. He looked to his right and saw another human. This was a naked female. He was so confused.

He looked to the left and saw three humans naked just laying down on the floor. He then looked in front of him and saw the TARDIS. It didn't have that green glow around it. Then the doors opened.

Out came a man dressed in a long button down shirt, dress pants, red suspenders, a bow tie, a lab coat, and had wild white crazy hair. His hair was like Doc Brown's from Back to the Future.

But unlike Brown, he was younger. He spoke in a familiar voice as he tossed some clothes at Humphrey.

"Get dressed. I'll explain what's happened…" It was Wayne! That's why it sounded familiar. It was Wayne.

Humphrey quickly put on his underwear's to cover his shame and then he looked at himself in a small puddle of water that was next to the TARDIS.

He had long gray hair, a medium slim build, white, blue eyes, and he noticed that his tail and paws were gone and were replaced with nothing or hands.

He tried to stand up but toppled over and after a few attempts, he was able to stand. He then figured something out. He needed to walk! He took baby steps to the TARDIS as he put on his clothes.

He wore a red striped shirt and black pants. Of course, Wayne didn't give him and shoes. He walked into the TARDIS and he saw Wayne playing with buttons.

"Wayne?" He asked in a weird way. "What…what…. What's going…. On?"

"Short version…. The TARDIS turn us into humans and probably everyone in Jasper. How long will this shit last? I don't know…"

"Who are those people out there that were next to me?"

"Those are your friends, Humphrey." He slid towards him and stopped in front of Humphrey face. He grabbed Humphrey's shirt and started to shake him.

"It turned us into humans, Humphrey…. Humans… nothing will be the same…"

"Wha-what do you mean?" He asked.

"I'm saying Humphrey…. Is that this shit here…. Is permanent…."

Humphrey's eyes widened as he heard this and moaned in displeasure.

"We got to get those four inside the TARDIS Humphrey… and clothe them. We have to cover their shame. They're humans now…"

Humphrey was still confused but obeyed Wayne's orders. He went outside and picked up the body of the girl bridal style. He went inside the machine where Wayne was picking up the second and third over his shoulders.


	4. Air Bags

Kate woke up with a groan. She felt the TARDIS floor and tried to get up. She can only sit up. Kate looked up and saw a human standing in front of her. She got scared and back away.

"Who are you?" She asked like a little girl.

The human kneeled down at her level and spoke in Humphrey's voice.

"Sweetie… it's me…" Kate looked at him in confusion.

"Humphrey? But how and what?!" She looked down to see she had legs and arms and hands and… and… breasts!

She wore blue jeans with a light purple shirt and a jacket. She was skinny and athletic, white, brown eyes, and blonde hair in a ponytail. She also had freckles.

"Why am I like this? And what are these?!" She said as she fondled her breast. "Are this airbags? Do they cushion my fall? What's going on?"

Humphrey laughed as he helped Kate up. She wobbled and held on to the handle of the TARDIS controls. She looked around and saw three others.

One was a female, but way older then her, at least by a few years. She was elderly with long brown hair but a great body and she also had those things Kate fondled on herself. She wore a white shirt with blue stripes and jeans.

The one next to her was an elderly man who looked over 50. He wore a suit and a bolo tie like an old man would. He wore glasses and he was a bit hunched back. He had gray hair like Humphrey and wore a fez on his head.

Then finally we see an African American who had bangs, wore sort of gothic clothing and a choker around his wrist and neck. His shirt was of a pentagram and his pants were blue jeans with a chain at the back pocket.

"Who are all of you?" Kate asked.

"Let me introduce…" Humphrey started. He went to the woman.

"Eve…" We went to the man. "Tony…"

And then to the African American. "And Hutch…"

Kate was shocked to see them like this. She didn't expect them to turn human. But then again, stranger things have happened in this crazy place.

Wayne then came into the TARDIS and exclaimed. "Bad news nobody…"

"Let me guess… Wayne…." Kate said as she pointed to him. Humphrey nodded.

"Jasper Park has turned human… which means there are a hundred people out there buck naked and confused. I suggest we call the one person who can help us."

"Who?" Everyone asked. Wayne smiled and simply said this.

"We go to the highest person in America…"


	5. Clothing the Naked

The gang walked to the valley and saw many humans walking around naked and confused. They had no idea what was going on.

The gang wanted to help but they knew help was coming soon. Kate looked at all these people that just walked around here and about. Then a realization came to Kate. Where was Claudette?

She turned to Humphrey in panic. "Humphrey, what about Claudette?" She was paranoid about her daughter.

"Don't worry, Wayne is going to help." Then everyone heard a helicopter overhead.

It was followed by more helicopters and they started to land in the valley. Out came the secret service and then the president. Wayne pushed his way past his friends to get to the president.

"You weren't kidding…" The president had said. "No worries, just gather everyone here and we'll help."

The gang then started to bring everyone to the valley. It took an hour or so but they managed. While they were doing this, Kate saw a teenage girl with a teenage male.

They looked familiar. Kate then looked in the biped's eyes and saw that glimmer of adventure that Claudette had. She then noticed right away. She then ran towards her.

"Claudette…" She yelled. The little girl looked up. She squint her eyes and made that realization.

"Mom?" She asked. The little naked girl ran towards her and they started to hug. The teenage male went up to them.

"Kate is that you?" He asked.

"Saul?" Kate asked him. He scratched his head.

"I remember."

Claudette was a short girl with a brownish complexion. She had brown hair rolling down her shoulders and she had hazel eyes.

Saul was a slim white male with white hair and gray eyes. He was as tall as Claudette. Kate hugged them both.

"Let's get you clothed…" Kate said.

"I'm fine like this…" Saul said. Kate just looked at him with an obvious "Really?"

"Well, this is Jasper… you know, for everyone."

They then started to walk over to the valley. Finally they got everyone in Jasper in the valley. The president looked at all these confused faces and spoke.

"My friends, what Wayne has told me… his time machine turned you into this. We are currently finding a way to reverse this."

"Screw that!" A person yelled out. Others started to agree. The gang and the president were confused.

"We like it like this!" Another person said.

"You guys want to stay like this?" The president asked. The all agreed. "Do you guys want to stay like this?" He asked the gang.

They looked at each other. Hutch, finally speaking, said, "I do."

"That other way was dirty and uncivilized." Tony said as he brought Eve closer to him.

Kate and Humphrey looked at each other. "I… kind of do." Humphrey said.

"Me too." Kate said smiling.

Wayne was the last one. He slicked his hand through his white crazy hair. "I… do too… but just because I like this body now."

"It's agreed. We'll clothe all of you and we'll be on our way." The president said. But there was one more question that had to be answered.


	6. Enjoying The New Lives

"Humphrey?" Kate asked her human mate. Humphrey blew away his hair to see her.

"Where will we live?" Humphrey got scared for a moment.

"Wayne, where will we live? We can live in dens anymore…" Wayne's smile evaporated. The president then spoke.

"We'll help you build new and better homes in Jasper." He told everyone there. Everyone cheered.

"Wait is Jasper still going to be called Jasper Park?" Claudette asked. "We aren't animals anymore."

"She right, what should we name it?"

"While you think of that, here…" The president and his secret service placed boxes of clothes before everyone.

"Clothe yourself, hide your shame…" He told them. Everyone went up to the boxes and picked out the clothes that they liked.

"We have a waterfall… how about something with 'falls' at the end?" Hutch suggested.

"I like that…" Tony agreed.

"How about 'Mercy Falls'?" Wayne asked them. Everyone nodded to that name.

"Mercy Falls… I love it!" Kate said in an enthusiastic tone.

"Mr. President, we'd like the name Mercy Falls…"

"Splendid! I write it up and you guys will be a real town. Agent 2, ask the builders united to come over here." He asked one of his secret service men.

"So a whole new life as humans… what's it going to be like?" Humphrey dreamed.

"It'll probably be great! No more getting fleas or worrying about getting in heat."

"Well, we still get horny…" Wayne told them. "But it's no big deal."

"Humans…. I like it…" Kate said as she smiled and hugged Humphrey.

The gang looked at the whole park getting dressed and they smiled. They were going to enjoy this.

 _ **? enyaW ot neppah lliw tahw tub, demrof won si sllaF ycreM**_


End file.
